I turn in the bed once more, shaking off half-lucid nightmares of medical errors and angry nurses. I'm working the “night admitter” shift tonight, which means I am responsible for any new admissions to the hospital from 7 PM to 7 AM. It also means that once the emergency room quiets down, I can usually … Continue reading Call night
Author: muthualagappan
Dear Intern
Dear Intern, It will be the best of times and it will be the worst of times. And what a special time this will be. This will be a time of learning. You will learn the details and nuances of clinical medicine — the diagnostic features of sarcoidosis and the second, third, and fourth line … Continue reading Dear Intern
What I wish I had said
Mr. J, I first met you soon after an attack, The cancer had spread to the bones of your back. I tried to be calm and offer you hope, but I had just lost a loved one, and was struggling to cope. I asked how your day was and you answered me kindly, and then you asked about … Continue reading What I wish I had said
Crash
It’s 3 AM on a Tuesday night and despite being surrounded by patients, I am alone in the ICU. My mind drifts to memories from my childhood — to half-day Fridays and packed lunches, to weekend sleepovers and backyard football. I smile, recollecting the truths I was taught about the world: that love doesn’t die … Continue reading Crash
Before and after
Mr. C is a kind, elderly Lebanese gentleman that I have taken care of for two weeks on the cardiology service. He has been quite sick — his heart has trouble squeezing and sometimes beats in abnormal rhythms that are hardly compatible with life, let alone comfort. There were several nights when we almost lost … Continue reading Before and after
Stanford School of Medicine – Commencement Address 2016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIv0fJ3pBkg "Thank you for this unbelievable honor to speak on behalf of the SMS graduating class of 2016. We sit before you today not because of our test scores or accomplishments but instead solely because McKinsey refused to hire us and our part-time startup didn’t pan out. This may be the only institution where dropping … Continue reading Stanford School of Medicine – Commencement Address 2016
Why I write
A long time ago I promised myself that if I ever began to write, it would be with the intention of making people feel better. I hope that by reading this, some part of your life is more enriched or more valuable or makes a little more sense.